School Sweethearts
Dear Dating Doctor,
I am 23, going on 24, and have been with the same guy for the past 7 years. He is my first and only. School sweethearts, if I may. We moved to Darwin about 10 months ago as he got a job at a cattle station near Katherine. I decided to stay in Darwin so I could get some studies done; I used to be a farm hand too, but got tired of the isolation and the lack of opportunities. And the long hours too. My boyfriend has always been very kind and lovely. Always making sure I am ok and sending me texts all the time. On my birthday, he sent me a fruit basket with a lovely plush toy inside. Whenever he has the chance he will do the 5 hour drive to Darwin, even if it’s to spend the night only. Our families are very happy with our relationship as we both are from hard-working families down in Wagga Wagga. His family is like mine and I get along with his mum very well. We crochet together whenever we have the chance.
But now he has been coming home less and less. He hardly calls me and whenever I call him I get his voicemail. He then blames it on poor coverage. Last time he came home, I saw that he was getting phone calls from a Cameron often. He always takes the (long) calls outside. He told me it was his boss. Lately, he is always busy and makes silly excuses for not traveling to see me. Last week I took Friday off so I could go and see him in Katherine, but he said his boss was sick and had to stay on the farm to give water to the animals. I went to Katherine anyway and saw his ute at the local pub. I did not dare to go in. When I called him to ask him how his boss was, he told me that she’s very sick and that he better stay to take care of her. I found that rather weird as I thought that Cameron was a man.
I have been waiting for him to pop the question for quite some time, but now I wonder if he will ever do. Shall I stick around and wait? Shall I confront him about Cameron? I am eagerly waiting for your reply.
Regards,
Lost-in-Thought
Dear Lost-in-Thought,
You sweet soul! What a young romantic you are <3
It’s nice to love someone so much and to grow together, especially in those young years. But what else is nice is growing individually and learning about who you are. This sort of stuff happens in your twenties. Some might even say that you’re in your formative years. You are at your prime girl, so don’t lose that. Give yourself everything you need! Give yourself all the love you need! I’d like to ask you why you’re waiting for this guy to pop the question? What will marriage bring to your life that you don’t already have? Are you being pressured by family or parents in this relationship? Remember, this is your life and you need to do exactly what you want to do. You can still have all the plush toys you like. Damn girl, you don’t need no man to buy these things for you! Go get yourself to Kmart, stat!
It sounds like the time that you and boyfie have had apart has changed you both and you know what? That is totally OK! During these adult years you will change greatly and possibly grow apart from the person you’ve felt closest to for a long time. I would encourage you to have a conversation with your bf about Cameron and the time he is putting in at the farm. Be honest, open, and listen to each other. If you’re still not happy after having a conversation with him, I’d suggest you stop waiting for this bloke. There’s so many other people out there so what’s the point in waiting for someone that leaves you guessing and questioning things…?
It will be hard to leave, but it will be harder to stay in a relationship that is not giving you all that you need. Drop. Dat. Boi.
Good luck and stay strong sista.
Dating Doctor
