Keep Scratching

Dear Dating Doctor,

I’ve been talking to a guy for the past 4 months. We met on a dating app, and I felt that we clicked straight away. We talked over text for about a month before we decided to meet, and as nervous as I was, we seemed to really get along. He’s funny, good looking and smart! Sounds perfect right? Thing is, he only ever hugged me goodbye. Then again, on our second, third and fourth date. As I said, it’s been 4 months, of daily texts (and a lot of sexting and dick pics too), countless more dates, and I’ve even been to his house! But I never get more than a hug goodbye? I’ve mentioned this to him, and he said that he’s shy. But I feel I’m getting this fearless and confident guy through text - but a whole different person in real life. I’ve tried to make a move, but it feels so awkward! How does the saying go? It takes two to tango! So what do I do?! Cut my losses, or take a shot of vodka and just go for it!?

Regards,

Horny and confused!

Dear Horny and confused!

4 months! 4 months and no kisses!? This is the point in time where I say WTF? What is going on here? This is redefining ‘taking it slow’ – and in our fast-paced lives maybe this is a good thing, but if you’re after a bit of lovin’ then it might just be too slow… This guy is all keen and confident on the keyboard (very common) but in person he ain’t nothing but a shy guy (cue Diana King) that may in fact want to get all up in your business but is lacking the moves to get things going. This is perfectly ok and if he is shy he might really appreciate if you stir things up. It could even help raise his confidence.

But let’s dissect things further… This guy obviously has desires and he plays them out via text. That is easier than in person. Guys are expected to be brave and confident and make the move. This is often the case and lots of guys like to act this way to show off their masculinity, and hell, many women want dating to play out that way too. Some girls want that strong man that is going to dominate and run the show… But others don’t. Find someone that matches what you’re into.

It’s hard though when women, like you, come across shy guys. Shy guys might actually be the perfect partner in the end when women want something more than just a fling. The shy guy that lacks the confidence may in fact be the respectful guy, the caring guy, the guy that listens, and so on. And although lots of women want the masculine, confident guy, why not take some time to give the shy guy a chance?

Meeting up with people that you’ve met online can be nerve-wracking, and even though you’ve been chatting for months and have met up in person, it still might call for that Dutch Courage. Get this man out on the town and show him he can relax with you. See where the night goes. If he still isn’t responding to your flirtations after those vodka shots then enjoy the night for what it is but leave it at that. There is only so much chasing a fabulous lady like you can do! And if you’ve got an itch, then you need someone more reliable than shy guy to help scratch it.

Keep scratching,

Dating Doctor