Forever Alone

Dear dating doctor,

I’m a straight 20-something-year old female, and I’ve been somewhat of a prude my entire life. I recently decided to put myself out there, and start dating for the first time! And due to it being the 21st century, I’ve signed up to all the dating apps out there. However, I’m starting to feel that I’m way out of my league. I’ve gone on a few dates with different guys, and I’m just hating life. I’m suppressing the urge to yawn or roll my eyes at the poor loser standing in front of me. I feel like I’m missing out on something here. Is it just me? Should I keep trying? I thought this would be more fun!

Regards,

Forever Alone.

Dear Forever Alone,

Nice work on the dating app-front. What an exciting time to join the online dating game when you’re a beautiful young woman! I call it a game because unfortunately for some, that’s exactly what it is. A game. A game of swiping left or right. A game of how many matches you can get. A game of how many dates, kisses, or roots you can get. That is what it has become…It’s sad in some ways, because it means that some people are not finding genuine partners to date (if that’s what they’re looking for). It is disappointing because for those that actually want to date, they are left bored or waiting for someone on the same page. The problem is that there is a trend among a lot of young adults to not give ‘too much’ of themselves to someone they are dating. I am all for human beings as independent entities, but if only people delving into the dating world would just try a little! (cue Otis Reading…. ‘squeeze her, don’t tease her’ OK maybe do tease her ;)).

So if you are going to stay in this dating game, then you got to think of some strategies sista! Firstly, before you get on the dating app you should ask yourself what you’d like to get from it. Then, once you have decided on that and you start ‘matching’ with potential sweethearts make sure you can have a conversation with them before meeting up in person. There is nothing worse than finally meeting up with that hottie to find there is no chit-chat between the two of you. Is it really worth your time if you end up yawning in front of snoreboi throughout the date? Imagine all the glamorous things you could be doing instead!

Trust me sweetie, it’s not just you. The dating game is where we become vulnerable as individuals. We must reveal ourselves. We feel pressure to be interesting and confident. But sometimes it’s hard to be thrown in and wash ourselves clean of our nerves. Don’t give up on the #datinglyf just yet. You will find your man and the only yawning he’ll make you do is from staying up too late (reading books of course).

Good luck and keep swiping,

Dating Doctor