24 HOURS IN MY TUM
Have you ever wondered how a person fuels their day if they don’t own a pilates studio, eat kale smoothies, or drink charcoal detoxes? Activated nuts, infrared saunas, meals made entirely out of liquids — are we the only ones still eating pasta?
As exemplified in the Fairfax column, ‘My Day on a Plate,’ we’ve been led to believe that people really do enjoy edible mud and hot yoga three times a day. This is quite obviously a lie. The perfect meals of Instagram so often make us feel that we’re the only ones emptying the bain marie at the cafeteria just before closing time, scoffing a Snickers in between meetings, or accidentally eating only bread for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
In ‘24 Hours in My Tum,’ we’re leading the resistance against this dangerous trend. Here, we celebrate the real culinary rhythms and routines of an everyday Darwinian: the second breakfasts, secret snacks, and Saturday night blowouts at the pub. We hope this column encourages you to own — and enjoy — your food choices.
Student and twitcher, Robin Leppitt, shares 24 hours in his tum.
7:15am Bounce out of bed to take my dog to the park for 30 mins. 7:30am Second snooze alarm makes me actually drag myself out of bed to take my dog to the park for 20 mins. 8:00am After eating muesli all week I’m sick of it, so I steal one of my housemate’s English muffins and, upon realising we have no Vegemite, fry an egg. Then, because it’s there, I put some feta in the muffin egg sandwich and it’s actually pretty yum. 10:30am Friday Morning Tea sees me throw down 12 Twisties, a microwaved party pie with tomato sauce, and two slices of watermelon. 12:30pm I go downstairs to the vending machine for a Coke Zero. The vending machine eats my coins but I get no Coke. I call the number on the machine and the guy on the end of the line says he can be there in 30 minutes. 1:20pm The guy texts me to say he is at the machine. I go back downstairs and he refunds me my $2.50 and gives me a free Coke. You beauty. 2:30pm A long meeting sees me eating lunch late, which is the leftovers of a fish curry I made four days earlier. After Googling how long cooked fish keeps in the fridge, I find out they recommend three days. I eat it anyway, and it’s yum. Made with Queenfish, snow peas, lemongrass, chilli, spring onions, turmeric, and coconut milk, all served on jasmine rice. 5:00pm The RIEL & Co. Postgraduate Society (RIELCPS) Welcome BBQ kicks off and I eat three pieces of carrot with avocado dip that is really just cream cheese with green food dye. I have a handful of popcorn and two sausages in white bread with tomato sauce. I wash it down with three midstrength beers. 8:00pm At a dinner party at my friend’s house in Wanguri, we have mushroom burgers with chips. The burgers have a roast mushie, haloumi, rocket and feta salad, garlic aioli, and this green stuff I overhear someone call ‘salsa verde.’ The chips are roasted potato wedges with rosemary and salt, and I eat like 150 of them. Easily the best meal I’ve had all week. I wash it down with another three mid-strength beers.
Not-yet-a-Dr Jennifer Macdonald says: Top marks for …
Getting out of bed. That snooze alarm can be a real vortex to the lazy student. I am also impressed at your ability to gather free food from across the university, your friends, and your housemates. It is good to have a diversity of sources. Keep it up and you might actually be able to survive on your PhD stipend.
If you keep eating like this you’ll … Run the risk of alerting your housemates to your food kleptomania. In my experience, it’s best to stick by the rule: never if the pack is sealed, never if it’s the last one. An English muffin is a risky choice - your housemate might have counted the number they had left. Did they have a loaf of unsliced bread you could have taken instead? Steer clear of discrete items. A slug of milk is always a safe gamble. I once took a housemate’s egg from an obvious dozen and, boy, did I never live that down.
Why don’t you try … Convincing RIEL & Co. Postgraduate Society to stock Coke Zero for Friday Fancy so you can flog them from the kitchen fridge and save yourself the vending the machine hassle. You may never finish your PhD because you’re spending all your time waiting for your money back.
Robin Leppitt is a PhD student at CDU, trying to balance a healthy diet with his love for chippies and sleeping in.
Jennifer Macdonald is also a PhD student and most certainly not a nutritionist, so all advice should be disregarded.
