GETTING A FIX
Addicts. A term that has negative connotations. Addicts are depicted as people to whom the future has turned its back to. Glassy eyed, rotten teeth, dishevelled hair.
Yet we are all battling some sort of addiction. Addiction means that we cannot go on without whatever we need to keep going. Whatever causes anxiety when not at an arm’s length.
One can have an anxiety attack upon realising that we have forgotten our water bottle. That water that fills empty silences, that refreshes the mouth when a word is struggling to come out, that brings a calming sensation to our weathered bodies.
One can have a panic attack upon realising that we left our mobile phone behind. Not lost, just left unattended. Leaving one incapable of hearing the ‘bleep’ that announces something, the ‘ping’ that boosts our ego, the ‘ring’ that reminds us of something forgotten.
One might be upset upon realising that there is no more coffee. That dark aroma-filled morning fix that gets us going in a humane fashion, that afternoon cup that gives us the last push to an already long day, the liquid that somehow gives sustenance to our thoughts.
One might be frantic upon realising that the credit is up. Internet is down. The pathway for the ‘bleep’, the ‘ping’, the ‘ring’ that announces something, that sharpens our ego, that reminds us that we forgot something. No Facebook. No Twitter. No Instagram. No alter egos.
One might be filled with hopelessness upon realising that we missed the yoga fix. The donning of the expensive attire and the drinking of the vitamin water, the guided search for mindfulness in a world full of mindless moments, the attachment to the fix itself.
One might feel a sudden cold flush, develop sweaty palms, brave a fast heart rate, experience dizziness, upon realising one of the above or all of the above. Anxious, panicked, upset, frantic, hopeless – which would all need to be managed as a duty of care at an addiction centre. And yet we call other people addicts.
We are all addicts. It is just that our addictions have not been labelled illegal. Yet. Perhaps at some point addiction will be reconsidered in the full sense of the word. Not only those addictions that the system has decided as illegal or immoral. Until then, let’s play along and enjoy stepping into quicksand for a while, until the system decides what to include next.
Veronica Toral-Granda is attempting to finish her PhD on time, although getting constantly side tracked by procrastination and her whims to be a writer.
